A Place where my Dreaming can have some Space. Mondo Beyondo is a course in Dreaming big and I am giving it a second go round. Follow along with the Exploration here.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Journal This :: Intuition

Leaning into your intuition is a critical part of knowing how to move towards a Mondo Beyondo dream.

Where have your best impulses taken you?

Have you ever had a time where listening to your gut totally paid off?
What was the situation?
How did you know that you knew what to do next?


I feel like every best bit of my life exists from listening to my best impulses...

I saved my brother from a burning car at 16 and we ended up alive and with a generous settlement tucked away in a place we could not touch...

At 17 I went to NYC to look at colleges...instead I partied and whiled the days away with a friend...the day before we left I went to NYU to tour and left the tour in the library and decided to go to the school because the library was 4 floors high and the ground tile floor looked like an Escher drawing (who picks a college for that, right?)

I moved to NYC and wanted to be a MD but changed to their in-house PT program and finished school with a license to practice something at 21...

I left my PT job behind at 25 when the money from the accident came out and was given to me in check form (something like 78,000...who gets a check for that ever? Not me). Put half away and quit our jobs and took the other half and went to Africa...and Ireland...and Hawaii (I know, weird trip). And then Australia.

Bought the house i grew up in with my parents in it for a very reasonable price...the true blessing of this arrangement was revealed when Tim and I found out we were having twins...so many many hands to help.

I went back to work when my husband lost his job in March and trusted that he was ready and willing to be the provider at home...and watched our boys flourish under his daily beautifully patient attention.

It seems like my gut guides my life. Our lives actually, thank god my husband trusts me (usually). And the next part...what to do next...It feels like I want to say...listen to my gut.

I think I need this class, this Mondo class, to remind me that just because things changed, I became a Mama, a wife, a homeowner, some type of grown up, does not mean my gut does not work anymore.
This week has been such a good reminder of that.

But I have to add that the odd fairie tale like feel of the above does not tell the whole story...the accident left me with a ruined ankle that hurts, my brother with a broken but healed back, NYC shattered parts of me and left me battling some kind of panic disorder for some time, I left the PT job in part due to the everyday stress of working with seriously injured people, a lot of the money I responsibly invested evaporated in the market, my parents can drive me batty though I love them dearly, and having the twins initially left me with a deep dark depression that hurt so badly, the absence of joy during a time so very joyful. The Tim at home thing :: not one bad thing as a result of that.

In truth, these do not seem like bad things to me now...they just are part of the picture. And I wanted to include them so the picture feels more complete, you know?

Rain at Home

It feels like the door is opening. And the intuition I have always listened to is ready to speak. Something.


  1. Wow, thank you for sharing that story. I especially love that you told the whole thing. I think trusting your intuition is a great thing. And it's good to remember that it doesn't necessarily mean there will be no pain or hard work; at least from my own experience. And it seems from yours too.

  2. I can see you growing in to your story, as you own all the parts of yourself, even the parts that don't quite make sense or are painful to recollect. It is a beautiful thing.
    I love the way you have described the chrysalis and the new self that is about to emerge,
    You are wise, you are brave and an inspiration.
    Thank you for sharing.

  3. That's wonderful to trust yourself. I don't think I've yet been able to tap into my more intuitive side yet. It happens on occasion. I managed to not kill myself one day because I listened to my instincts about no... it just shouldn't get on the freeway right now, turn around something is wrong... and then the brakes went out. And I was hauling a very heavy trailer, and would have been going 60, and likely would have killed myself and anyone in front of me when I needed to stop. Crazy! :) Listen to yourself, it is almost always wise. :)